neojester5

Self Projection onto others

2008-01-02T08:39:43Z

Rant time again! Had this on my mind also so I decided to write about it.

The Self Projection of yourself onto others around you.

Sadly I've been the victim of this several times and only wish that it would stop. I've been told I was psychotic, play mind games, am lazy, don't do anything to better myself, and several other things. The reality is that even though some of these things may be true, I can be lazy at times and sometimes I wish I didn't have to conform to the world just to live, when people say these weird things to me that I can't understand I realize that they are merely trying to throw their problems off onto someone else so that they don't have to believe that they themselves are actually like that.

Current situation for an example of this. The person we live with has told us that we have not been trying to get jobs and in fact are being entirely lazy about the whole situation. We are taking advantage of her and are truly not trying to better our situation. From what I can tell about the way she lives here is her daily routine. She will get up in the morning, take her son to school...maybe, she will then come home and sit on World of Warcraft until it's time to get her son...if she did, then she'll come back home and sit on WoW again until the wee hours of the night then she'll go to bed, claiming not to get any sleep when she gets up again in the morning. She of course will make food when needed, bathroom breaks, shower, whatever is required to live but other than that she does nothing. We've been here a month and she has done clothes maybe two times. She has two children and herself so I would imagine she would be doing clothes more than that. When we have talked to her she is constantly talking about wanting to get a job and needing to do this, and that and this and that but from what we can tell she never does unless it is absolutely, necessary. We have yet to see that come about though.

So lazy? Check. No drive to better herself...Check! Not trying to get a job? Check again! Amazing how that works huh? Now just to let people know about myself...

I am a pretty nice guy. If I could I would do anything for anyone whenever they needed it and I always jump at the chance to help. It's just my nature. As of right now though I've been pretty bad off and have had to ask others for help....to no avail. I have problems dealing with people on a social level that I don't know very well and have just recently been able to admit this to myself and loved ones. In a controlled environment like an office or a shift where I don't have to deal with people on an hourly basis, I can deal with. Having a job like a
restaurant, fast food place, call center, retail store during the day, things like this....bothers me. This is what usually prohibits me from getting a "normal" job. I usually come to terms with it and just go out and do whatever I can. Right now, the job market would not agree with me. I'm an intelligent, funny, creative, charming, kinda guy. An average person really just trying to make my way in the world but the world it seems would not have it. I can be lazy, when I get to playing a game I don't want to do anything else. If I am working on something I usual forget everything else. Sometimes I would rather not go and clean the house, wash dishes, and whatnot. A lot of people are like this though so I figure it's just normal for someone to not want to work and be lazy. I mean you do it all the time, why not slack on it a bit?

So I believe that if everyone I knew could look into themselves and talk about these aspects of themselves like I have that they would be a lot better off. Instead they continue to project their own self image onto others in the hopes that they don't have to live with it themselves. Maybe then I wouldn't have to worry about people treating me like shit because they can't deal with their own problems.

Well Met.

This is my game Face

2007-12-30T07:50:13Z

So game stuff. When I talk about games, Wren will be up here on the screen. If you don't know where he's from then gtfo my LJ.

Moving along, what games have I been playing? Well nothing really. As of right now I just got done playing FF IV Advance on emulator. I am going to probably finish all the extra stuff at some point but kinda took a break from it. I love the game alot and is my first Final Fantasy I ever played. Great story, good characters, just good all around.

Now I was gonna start playing the Dot Hack games again since I haven't beaten them yet starting back at number one but my PS2 is currently occupied by my SO who is playing the NeoPets game. So I'll wait on that.

While I wait, I will be playing a nifty game a friend of mine introduced to me called The Kingdom of Loathing. I'll tell you what he told me "Google it" Thats all you need to know...

Oh and it's the coolest game ever....

There you have it.

This is my rant face.

2007-12-30T05:01:16Z

Hello LJ. How are you today? That's great to hear.

Let me start by saying this is my rant face. Whenever I rant you'll see gir as my icon. Good now lets move on.

Rant topic today? How peoples perception on others seems to work.

So people say they understand you or what your going through. But do they really? I wonder this often as I try to explain my situation to others and yet feel like they still don't get it by the strange responses of "Oh it can't be that bad, your just exaggerating" or "I understand but do you understand what I'm saying?" Of course I do! What your trying to say is that your point of view is right and that whatever I'm trying to explain to you is so exaggerated and dramatized that it could never happen! Should I explain my situation and see if anyone gets it? I'll try it and see what happens.

I have no reliable people that I can depend on. Why you ask? Because I'm in such a horrible, downtrodden situation that the friends and family I've asked for help see me as a burden now and when I ask for help it seems like I am just mooching off of them for all they are worth. Is it my fault I'm in the situation I am in? Yes and no. I made the decisions that got me here but if I were not forced into those decisions to be made and for the situations in my life to turn badly maybe I wouldn't be where I am now trying my best to not only take care of myself but also the one other person in my life that is in the same situation and understands exactly what is going on. Why were we thrust into these situations? Because our family and social lives have put us there. Could we have avoided it? Maybe, but then we would just have to assimilate into the mindless mass that is this country and we aren't like that. Yet another reason why our families and friends seem to not want to help us. It's not that we aren't trying our hardest to get through life or that we don't know whats going on and how to deal with these things that we are presented with. It's the fact that everything we do is looked down upon and we are held to our mistakes and screw ups because everyone in this world is supposed to be perfect. So we ask others for help, gain new friends who we think are actually genuine and willing to help but then find out later that they didn't really want to but did it anyway because they felt forced into it. We aren't forcing anyone to help us! It just seems like that because we have no one else to turn to.

So whats the solution to our poverty, no food, no jobs situation? Go out and get three jobs and pay off your debt and become a functioning member of society. I would go into detail about why this just isn't possible with us but that is a little to personnel and I don't mean to say it to the world right now.

So do you understand my situation? I might have mixed things up a bit and confused you but heres a summery. Our families refuse to help us in a way that would benefit us and would rather scold us and lecture us on what we need to be doing. So we have no one to turn to for anything. No food, no money, no jobs, no nothing. Right thats it. Can't be possibly that bad right? It is. I don't exaggerate at all about it. Sure my family wants to send me money to pay off some of my minor debt or send me little things here and there to help out with food and such, just like with my SO, but that doesn't solve the long term does it? I still have a mass amount of debt looming over me, I need to worry about food for next week and I need that job that I got an interview for but found out I was overqualified for.

Alright so perspective. Do people really understand what others mean? Yes and No. Some people do because they have been there and know how it feels and is. Others know because they can actually give an unbiased view into a person's perspective and see that, yes there is a problem and they need help. Others just say "I understand" but have no clue really because they are only trying to get their point across to you on their perspective of your own situation. Why do I need that!? I already know whats going on and how to fix it but people fail to realize that and think they know a better way.

Our current situation? Stuck in a place with no food, no money, and with someone who only did what she did because she was tired of seeing her SO have to deal with the burden of us. That's right folks we are a burden to others. I for one will be glad when we can get out of this hate house and into a place of our own again so that we can create a better life for ourselves.

So there you have it.

/Rant